Too Much About Me. / Promises

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I've spent a huge chunk of my time with my nose buried in one book or another, escaping from my life by living in a thousand fantasy worlds. I tend to avoid social interaction... I've always felt painfully awkward dealing with other people and my hobby involved spending a bunch of time by myself so my default just naturally became isolation. Ive had no real ambition in life. I never really wanted anything beyond my basic needs, even today everything I own (by choice and not including my car) can be packed into a backpack and a duffel bag. I've basically spent the last ten years trying to convince myself that it would be better to give up on life, that there wasn't any real reason to hang around... things are bleak and dark and getting worse, but i could never get all the way there. Eventually I hit a point where I started thinking "Okay the world is this messed up place where everything seems to be broken or rotting but what have I ever done to try to fix it? How much of the time and energy I was putting into life was going toward making it better?" I dont want much from life but I am DEAD tired of feeling like I'm just working to cover my obligations and make money for some company while I'm waiting to keel over. I don't know how to make a connection with you, whoever you are. I don't know how to get you to trust me enough to be a part of what I'm trying to do but for whatever it's worth I promise you that I'm sincere in my desire to help people, and i intend to do that with the plan I laid out on these pages. I don't really know what I'm doing here folks, I'm sure there are going to be roadblocks and obstacles to setting this up and making it work and I'll do what I need to do to get through them, but try to be patient with me. I'm not the most focused person even when I'm in my comfort zone, and what I'm trying to do here is far afield of anything I'd consider to be in my wheelhouse. I'm just a guy with no life, a rough plan, and a dream. 

Watch Out.